Faith&Hope.

Hallu

I'm

Little

Miss

Nut

Why, hello there.

Well, sometimes I think I'm sick of talking. So when I am, I realise I still want and need to let it all out. When that happens, I tweet. But I can no longer tweet freely can I? Cos apparently I have obligations to tell people things. Obligations. Funny word. Never liked it.. think i never will. So anyway, back to my story, I'm sick and tired of bullshit from people.. so I run away from reality. Ok fine, not really. I just come here.. and say out everything and we;;, no one will judge me (: Pathetic, I know, but what else can a girl like me do? It's aight.. im fine this way (:

if you are reading this, then thats just it. nothing else. haha. ok byebye, have a nice day (:

Nut ♥ 17!

Firstly, im the weird girl that make people say "Whoa" when they take one look at me. I scream, laugh and jump anytime I want to & feel like. Im obsessed with tweeting and just recently, instagram too. My love for the arts is indescribable. I don't regret ever being involved in Guzheng, Youth Flying Club, Dikir, and all the other things that i've been exposed to my whole life. I spent 6 years in PLMGS then 4 in Xinmin, and now im in NYJC Alhamdullilah Secondly, I wna get an everlasting movie card and a swim in a hot chocolate swimming pool. Twentytwo.One.Ninetyfive are the numbers. (You'd better remember!) Third, I have a money-spending problem and just can't get enough of purple, orange and bunnies. Im in urgent need of growing taller and losing weight so all help would be appreciated. Next, I understand that my family ain't perfect but believe it or not, i love them! ;) Im also a fickleminded-sucker who makes wrong choices every now and then. I wanna be a billionaire, so fucking bad. Heh, yes please. Finally, there is no such thing as too much chocolate or cheese. (Okay fine, sometimes they're too much. Heh.) TYVM :D

Friday, July 13, 2012

It's been awhile now. Let's give this post one hella story shall we? I really have to speak my mind cos I doubt I can ever do it at one go to any one person anymore. well, here goes nothing..

These days, I feel likka flirt.. but everyone's saying that its just me thinking too much. yeah i know but why is it that i feel so weird? maybe its just me.. i hope. the thing is, ever since i've distance away form syafiq, everything has become so.. uneasy. he was always the one who listened to every thing thats on my mind and every thought that i had, now, its just like, i dont want to tell him what i feel anymore cos i feel that its hurting him inside. its so hard to handle his feelings. and me being the uncontrollable girl that i am, i can never know the right time. ok im prolly not making sense cos half the time my mind's just in a mess. but then again.. sigh. like i've mentioned so many times before, i really wished that i could read the feelings, thoughts, that i have like as if they were inked in a book.. but it just doesnt work that way. unfortunately.

on the other hand, my hormones are kicking up again. ok maybe not hormones, i dont know.. just, im starting to really like listening to his voice.. i remember the last time i was in love with someone's voice was in secondary school.. i really cant control myself when i hear someone's voice that melts my insides with the first line that he sings. not saying that i have any feelings for him but, yeah, just like how i really fell in love with this guy's voice back in xms, im falling in love with his voice. everytime i hear him sing again, flashes of all the times i've heard him sing this whole year appears in my head. well, dear reader, you prolly think im some slut who goes around liking every guy, but no, its just my thing to fall in love with people's voices.. its like my weakness or something. really.

then there is this other gentleman, really, i feel that he's way out of my league, you know. i've been noticing all the small thing he does.. and well, i really think he's a cute, adorable, perfect-with-all-his-flaws kinda guy. since i came in to this new school, i crushed on him real bad!! heh. but then after awhile, i felt that i couldnt be myself around him.. oh i dont know.. maybe its just me being paranoid. but yeah... thats me.. i like his presence tho.. his smile is really one to die for. >< teehee. the glances we have in lectures or across the canteen.. maybe its just me, i dont know. cheng says that he's been dropping so many clues, but, yknw, its chengce, so i dont know either.. haha. HAHA. thats his codename. heh <: i promise you, he is really one helluva guy. call me a stalker but i really like reading his blog. thts just the thing, the way he gets to pour his feelings out like that, made me wanna blog too, after all these time. i mean partly cos i no longer feel like im able to communicate with syafiq, or any other person for that matter, as openly as i used to be able to.. but also cos i miss having to type out all my thoughts. and knowing that i wont be judged for that. cos i mean, on twitter its more of an open diary kinda thing, and im well known to be a spammer and i feel that everytime i tweet my feeling, im opening my vulnerable side which sometimes i dont really want people to know, but bo pian right. if i were to just talk about this dude i think he'll take up quite a long post, maybe some day. i kinda hope that if i were to crush on him again (apparently i've managed to convince myself that i've demoted him to just an eyecandy), but lets just say, if i like him.. oh, i do hope he likes me too.. and i hope he could accept all the bad things i did and was for the past few years..

if you like me, then say you like me..

oh, and one more thing, it hurts to hear you become so silent while i try to share my joys with you.. sigh.