Hi, i need to tell my trouble for a while. Please bare with me.
I wish I can tell the truth all the time. It hurts to live a life made out of lies. I have to lie to do th things i love. No words can explain how much i love and fight to be in dikir barat. Yeah you say, big deal. It is. Cos you cant imagine how much i'd have to hide. She thinks im a no life girl, never went to www, never went to sentosa, never went karaoke-ing, and all that. But in real fact, i have. I cant tell her cos she doesnt know me, she doesnt even bother to ask me, hey, are you okay? are you stressed? do you want to take a break for one day and go out w yr friends? no, never, and she calls herself my mom. I have nothing to say. Its my passion, why dont you let me live it? you think youre all that, but youre not. It hurts to express myself this way all the time. I cant open up everything i have. It will take ages. I get th honour of joining an official group and th last thing i want to do is to celebrate it with you. I want you to know, but i knw you wont understand. i love you but its so hard for me to say when and why. i want a family, one that i can say, what you see is what you get. not, erm... well, we're not really a family. ouch. my heart aches so much, i just cant tell if i can still feel, I want to live a life. not a lie.great. i just cant stand it . I hate my life. I really want to give up, i realllyyy love dikir. (really) but, this chance, this passion that i wna live in, i knw it'll make you burst. you'll never accept it. right now , all i can do is just. live my lie. Cos I cant continue on and on like this. This breakdown will never end will it?Lets call it a day. Oh, and im really honoured and of course i would wna join. Duh. Its th best thing that would ever happen. And cant wait too LOL. Kiasu much.
