Faith&Hope.

Hallu

I'm

Little

Miss

Nut

Why, hello there.

Well, sometimes I think I'm sick of talking. So when I am, I realise I still want and need to let it all out. When that happens, I tweet. But I can no longer tweet freely can I? Cos apparently I have obligations to tell people things. Obligations. Funny word. Never liked it.. think i never will. So anyway, back to my story, I'm sick and tired of bullshit from people.. so I run away from reality. Ok fine, not really. I just come here.. and say out everything and we;;, no one will judge me (: Pathetic, I know, but what else can a girl like me do? It's aight.. im fine this way (:

if you are reading this, then thats just it. nothing else. haha. ok byebye, have a nice day (:

Nut ♥ 17!

Firstly, im the weird girl that make people say "Whoa" when they take one look at me. I scream, laugh and jump anytime I want to & feel like. Im obsessed with tweeting and just recently, instagram too. My love for the arts is indescribable. I don't regret ever being involved in Guzheng, Youth Flying Club, Dikir, and all the other things that i've been exposed to my whole life. I spent 6 years in PLMGS then 4 in Xinmin, and now im in NYJC Alhamdullilah Secondly, I wna get an everlasting movie card and a swim in a hot chocolate swimming pool. Twentytwo.One.Ninetyfive are the numbers. (You'd better remember!) Third, I have a money-spending problem and just can't get enough of purple, orange and bunnies. Im in urgent need of growing taller and losing weight so all help would be appreciated. Next, I understand that my family ain't perfect but believe it or not, i love them! ;) Im also a fickleminded-sucker who makes wrong choices every now and then. I wanna be a billionaire, so fucking bad. Heh, yes please. Finally, there is no such thing as too much chocolate or cheese. (Okay fine, sometimes they're too much. Heh.) TYVM :D

Monday, May 18, 2009

Okay, first things first, Tyvm mabu, im really touched by your note. And here's smth for you:

I knw these days all i can do is complain complain and make your day suck. So im really really really uber sorry if i mad you feel even worse these days. And in addition all i've been doing nowadays is talk all about me. So i promise from tml onwards its gonna change aite. I been doing some reflections and i guess i've been an awesome bitch and a downright assholic friend, to everyone infact. IM SORRY. Its just that these moods that i have never ever in my whole life experienced before (w th help and boost of family issues) are sucking my soul alive. Its taking away my Nut and leaving me w just a shell ): Okay, i shall stop here to make sure i dont start complaining. Ilyvm and im sorry if i havnt been thr if you wanted smone. I'll change, i promise.

This is for all:

Just like whd i've said, i've been getting a soulsucking thing in my mind these days . I kinda just stare into space being all stupid for tht very moment and then waking up in reality. Im sorry if i've hurt you or broke you in anyway cos this bitch in me is growing and turning me into mr jekyl even in th day. I want to say really, if i've been stupid and did smth im reaaalllyyyyy sorry. Im in th moulting stage of throwing my bitch away and i have no idea why but this stage hurts alot. Esp w my sudden windy mood change. ): Sorry.

My day today : Not impt.

Today was okay. Read finish whole of unraveling. Realised how bitchy i've been. Esp to my friends. Made plans to change . Had second thoughts about doing my hair and buying a dress for next week's concert. Cried like an idiot while reading. Went into a sudden rage w my mom. I had no idea why. Missing those melt-your-insides eyes. Wishing smth i hope doesnt happen too soon. Had a moment thinking about th outcome as soon as th mdyrs result come out. Cried agn. Feeling damn hungry but thinking about all those kilo-s i have taken in today. Thought about my exercise and diet plan from now on. Including th money im gonna spend on things. Scared about asking my mom if i can join dikir comp. My mind's asking me to do this but my heart's asking me to dump th idea and do that. I hate this part right here. Yes, this part whr i have no idea whd to do and my bloody self is scared to open up. Things arent getting better here at home. Things just seem to get worse and worse. I feel embarrassed to make excuses to people all th time because im hiding secrets all this while. Im hiding her secrets. Th stupid thing that she has no heart to do all this while till now. But thinking about it made me think about th things i'll have to do once th words are said and actions are made. New school, new friends, new place, new everything. Maybe gdbye's a second chance? Im feeling all bitched up agn. When i think things are gonna be okay, a box in my head opens, revealing all th sorrows it has held all these years. Those lies, my mistakes, its all unfolding , again. To think i try to be positive about all these things all these years. When obviously thr's no positive side. I wish i have someone, someone tht i really really confide all my problems, thoughts, my mistakes, to. But th bitched feeling i get whenever i confess gets me nowhr. in addition, usually, im nth to tht person. At least thts whd im feeling. ):

Such thing as a confess-absorber thing-a-ma-jig? I guess not.