Fycker

♥ TYVM

2011-01-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

Yknw, more of often thn not, I realise tht I hve uncontrollable breakdowns. Esp recently. Th cause of my outburst in emotions, I myself cant tell. Bt, one thing's for sure: you guys nvr fail to be thr for me, you pull me up when I fall. Keep me gng when I feel like all hope is lost. Convince me tht this race is nt impossible. I cant promise tht I wont fall and try to give up again, bt, I can promise tht I will try my best to be stronger after every fall. Th most impt thing I wna say is thanks. Thanks, for tolerating my shits. Thanks for nt gving up on me. Thanks for helping me thru my tough times. Thanks isnt enough I knw, bt I just want you all to knw tht I appreciate all th things you've done. And, I am deeply in debt. I love all of you!! (:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Drifting thru the wind, wanting to start again.

2010-12-10T22:01:00.002+08:00

Screw this man. Tkya nak prangai kan. I dont freaking care anymore sia. To hell if you read this. good. Cos you have no bloody idea how pissed i am. Thanks ah for treating me like crap. Everything that yre afraid to happen would happen if this continues. and when it does i would certainly say that you asked for it dude. I cant believe you dont even have the courtesy of talking things out. OHHHHH GODDDDD. I dont care. when i can get to you, imma bash you hard. you. just. wait. :D k, cant wait.

lets crap

2010-12-08T02:55:00.002+08:00

I totally forgot th times when blogging is like a must fr me. i dont see the need to post anw, most just end up as drafts bcos im to scared to post. heck. anw, last sat was the bom. like wooooooooooooooooooo. felt kinda short , but actually thing nack we spent quite awhile uh. i reaaaallly wna catch all the movies now. like so many now la! i like :D gulliver's travel, rapunzel, blablablablablabla.

i like want sleep rdy liktht. k la . maybe soon. bla

:D

2010-11-16T11:13:00.002+08:00

Wooooooooooo.

I love the after feeling that i always get after swimming. satisfaction~ ahhhhh. :D happyhappyhappy. morning was right away pissed but swimming made it all go away :D best part? i din even sweat. ahhhh~ thats what i love most about swimming. no smelly, no sweaty, no stinky. wooooo.

k bye.

ps. im dropping hair like nobody's business la!

I want camwhore la neh.

2010-11-15T22:52:00.003+08:00

Can someone tell me why i feel so sian uh. grr. its like zzzzzzz all the way. shall force myself to cheer up by listing things that i should look forward to. (sian)

not in order

1. class chalet (tho im not staying over -.- as usual)
2. dkulan! O: (cant wait to get th tingly feeling i always get nearer to th day~)
3. ikea w the crazies nxt week!
4. www~ w idknw who yet (jia planner, dont phail ah)
5. damn i want seoul garden. f! >:(
6. cycling! w bmx hopefully, ongoing preparations.
7. adele-rise of mummeh. when open ah?
8. still considering harry potter.
9. mama promise me fish and co then cheat me, go today, when i not free ):
10. kbox please and thankyou
11. changi airport still sounds likka despo place to go. ok la, more like, random but whdev
12. i want go walk2 at the henderson thingy leyyyy. but at mt faber.wtf
13. macritchie?! woo.
(btw im referring to older posts, so ya)

other than that. imma start more intensive swimming. i think thts th only thing i'd bother to do, cos i nw i cfm cmi for jogging/gym. woo. and im happy cos ive been drinking chocolate milk these days. :D yay me. haha. not like its gna help me grow much or smth (im still praying tho) actually i happy w my size lo. so cute right?! :D i knw la. k dah bye.

Green slimy man. & Red hot man.

2010-11-13T20:20:00.002+08:00

Mixed up shit.

Weekends are when i feel the worse. Cos not only am i unable to go out. but i also rot and eat junk food at home. (Y) feel totally bored plus get fatter by the minute. what a combo~ -.-

im just going to force myself to sleep right now. (try my best to.) and then im going to wake up feeling (maybe) more shitty than i alrd am. woo.

I've never been here before.

2010-11-13T02:27:00.003+08:00

Ohmeegosh. Unstoppable is so awesome! I love denzel washington movies. weird how he starred in the taking of pelham 123 and this. both about trains , well kinda. what a weird fetish (am i using this word correctly? lol) thank god i din watch 'it's a wonderful afterlife' the reviews are sucky ttm! anw, woke up late. dammit. tho i slept early ytd lo. missed bridging and all. but, got a movie right (: i am so craving fish and cooooooooo! dammit . ended up eating at samy's for dinner -.- grr. fish and co is going into my to-do list. grr. oh and dkulan is next week! OHEMMJEE. scaredscaredexcitedexcited. haha. cant waits~ after tht hopefully i'll kinda have more time to hangout? my plans right now are just so screwed. so , shall update my list.

1. seoul garden la.
2. www?
3. i feel like goin macritchie (spelling?) but, im scared of the monkeys thr.
4.henderson wave bridge. its like everyone's been thr, and i just wna see whats so nice. lol
5.kbox
6.changi airport! haha random.
7.cycling?
8.harry potter? (the part 1 thing is such a turn off!)
9. Adele - rise of mummy! looks nice eh.

and it goes on and on and on~ hahaha, dknw la. dnt even knw if im gna have time -.- lol.

so yah.

i kinda feel horrible for being so to myself these days. like, i just cant be serious about anth. no wonder i so dumb. currently, i feel like everything's on a pause. and im kinda in my own world. i feel horrible for not being able to control myself sometimes. like i've mentioned so many times, im just so naive and i dont even know what im getting myself into. but whatever it is, im liking it :D

Blogging is a waste of time.

2010-11-09T23:05:00.002+08:00

merujuk kepada perkara di atas, haha ^^ who cares. woo. ha

anw. YAY I WATCHED MEGAMIND :D wooooooo. awesomeshitzawesomeshiitzawesomezhitz. and i think that superman guy whose name i cant rmb from idknwwhen, is so not handsome/cool/whdev. and MEGAMIND SO CUTE LA. haha, esp th when he baby. haha, and the fish! and the titan guy has a pear shaped head. weird. and that superman guy like actually kinda loser huh. okok, shant crap anymoreeeeeeee. wouldve enjoyed th movie more tho if my freaking bladder wasnt gna burst and all. haha, k i knw i knw tmi. one thing's for sure. i did enjoy :D

haha, k anw, i am freagging guilty of making dila wait so long for me. cos idknwwho made me miss serangoon by 2 stops. amazing kan. yeah, tell me about it. i felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad x43765293745 cos i was seriously late giler. but at least she managed to have a real work out while i was late. haha. or else we'll be like soaking in the pool for idknw how long, and then later my fingers will get all wrinkly and stuff like that. really what. cos thts what we did. stayed in the pool bbl2. baik kan, org lepak bwh blok kite lepak dlm pool. our thing ^^ haha, nonsense much. wentz home after tht, bused. then decided to take 113 all the way till the end, i fell asleep, until everyone left, and the bus uncle had to wake me up. lucky eh. people are telling me that theyve gotten stuck in th bus before. if that happens , i will FREAKING FREAK OUT LA. like, go crazy and bang the door until pecah or smth. like omg right. rabak. gile. and also paisey. gah. haha. k, then took the train home, and slept as soon as i landed on my bed. woo~ cos i knw i might be (more like, maybe a little , or alot, like i want to ) stay up late :D cant help it! so i might as well get some rest first, ^^ good plan kan! haha, k lame, so yah. mama cant stop blabbering about some cousin-vs-cousin fight on fb. nice huh. seriously, so much for being adults. we all have brains, theirs, older than mine, but all dknw how to use. how immature. quarrel like some bunch of preschoolers or smth. and theyre my supposed 'more wise by age ' cousins. thank god for the generation gap and the space between us, so that i can not get involved in this lame shit. seriously, theyre bickering over nothing. losers. just asked mama whther i should post some insulting shit on other fb. she said. " yes please , go post la, better, let those empty headed bodohs realise that even you realise the stupidity of th problem " :D my mom. annoying2 pon, cool eh. woo. k la, crap enough rdy. bye :D

till we meet again ♥

Things i MUST do and NOTHING will stand in my way (hopefully)

2010-11-07T11:13:00.003+08:00

wooo. ok lets start.

1. seoul garden ^^
2. MUST WATCH MEGAMIND ( CAUSE I DIN GET TO WATCH DESPICABLE ME )
3. lose weight x23475692..23842 is still a MUST.
4. do some cooking w
`dla baby
`bimbo
`guof
`sy & smurf too?
5. go out with
`bimbo
`smurf sy dusk lester etc etc
`guof & v ): how i miss them
`dla
`dk peeps (hahaha long time neh say this)
(am i repeating myself? hahaha :D )
6. considering to go www. its like a tradition thingy. (i just realised) that everytime holiday , i'll go www w jia. so how. :D want go? tho its kinda lame rdy la. maybe ask more ppl. or smth
7. harry potter coming out soon right?
[ im actually looking at older holiday posts to see where i went. lol. pathetic huh. ]
8. kbox! :D
9. sentosa?
10. OMG JIA SMURF DUSK SY AND WHOEVER INTERESTED. WE HAVE TO CONFERENCE AGAIN LAH. SO LONG NEH OTP TGT :D
.
.
.
.
.
shall add more soon k. now im hungry and i want to give in to my hunger. buhbye.

Eff uh :D

2010-11-04T23:02:00.002+08:00

So. imma write the things i HAVTA do.

1. workout and lose weight ASAP. D:<
2. go eat seoul garden ^^
3. lose more weight
4. plan outings.
5. lose more weight.

AND FINALLY
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

LOSE MORE FUCKING WEIGHT.

i hate it yknw, when people who hvnt seen me in a long time, says "eh, nut, you've grown fatter since i last met you" everytime. like, its the first thing they say ): i mean the part "but you look better this way," tak perlu . like seriously. IM FAAAAAAAAT ): JOGSWIMGYMRUNJOGSWIMGYMRUN. GAH. SO PISSED OF AT MYSELF. i've gotta cut down on my meals. and no more munching food. GAH. aim uh to be < 36kg. right now, i think i 2u439652374562934756kg la. D: sadded never been so poked before. aiya.

oh. and where are you? /:

2010-11-02T21:20:00.001+08:00

Cos in your company, I feel happy, oh so happy and complete.

2010-11-01T01:55:00.002+08:00

I'll go to bed tonight, wondering if you'll ever forgive me fully, and wondering if you'll ever trust me again. Its a big deal to me when i lose someone's trust, and its an even bigger deal, cos its you. Right now, i feel like i've failed you. Im sorry baby.

Im afraid to continue apologising just because i feel horrible, but i knw , now, its inevitable that your suspicions would have an old story to become its support. X: im mostly talking crap and shit but, yah. I somehow hope that you'd sleep soundly tonight, and that an angel would be in your dreams showing you what i went thru and what really happen. cos i knw tht you'd probably imagined the worst when i told you my story. Just so you know, i hvnt had a single doubt about you since the day you said you love me. I love you to baby.

Would you, baby, be mine?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN~

2010-10-31T22:41:00.002+08:00

"Tonight, you'll see the first ever bloodsucking nut! MUAHAHAHAHAH"

Hahaha, ok lame. Anwwwwwwwww, today started off horrible, like crapz. seriously! like, i woke up from a horrible nightmare, that I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HAVE TO DREAM ABOUT SMTH/SOMEONE LIKE THAT. (which, in my theory was caused by guilt) -okay chill- so i mean i had to 'confess' to whatever wrong doings it was. but it wasnt really my wrong doing, but i feel guilty cos i kept it as a secret. sooooo, after telling my what my dream was, i moved on to telling what relations it had to reality. broke my heart to see him hurt yknw. tho i have to stress on the fact tht i did NOTHING. still, he was shocked. its like trust = gg , but , the sweetest thing ever is how he just forgave me like tht. seriously, i mean, its not like him to just give in so easily. all these while i've seen him get pissed by th smalllest thing and he was just so understanding. (: that's why i love him :D ahhh~ i knw i knw, im drowning in love. hahahaha . ♥

Cos when yre fifteen, somebody tells you they love you

Hanya takdir menentukan ia~

2010-10-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

Its gotten kinda outta hand i guess, but i cant help it. I think everyone around me can get irritated by how im totally stunned by you. Naive or just plain dumb? Either ways i just feel tt yre one of a kind cos i've never acted this way bfore. Oh well. :D

♥

2010-10-29T11:27:00.001+08:00

Boy you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this

Baby yre the best i ever had k~

2010-10-28T23:49:00.002+08:00

You know what.

2010-10-27T21:02:00.001+08:00

Eh, i cant stand it when you do this to me. I swear!! ): the least you could've done is give me a warning or smth. ahhhhhhh. and then my mind goes wild or shit likdat. uh, but in the end you know i cant get mad at you. haha :D k bye.

You :D

2010-10-20T17:29:00.003+08:00

His voice, his voice, makes me feel butterflies inside me
His jokes, his jokes, never fails to keep me oh so happy
Cos he's so wonderful, I wanna tell him everyday

Each time, each time, we hang out I just can't stop smiling
I hope, I hope, that he knows that I am thinking 'bout him
And everytime he asks me what is in your mind
You know I'd say..

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cos boy yre amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, my whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cos boy yre amazing, just the way you are

His hand, his hand, I wish that I could hold them all day
His words, his words, makes me think that I am all that he needs
Cos he's so wonderful, I wanna tell him everyday

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I wouldn't ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking what is in your mind
You know I'd say...

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cos boy yre amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, my whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cos boy yre amazing, just the way you are

WOW 600th post.

2010-06-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

Sooooooooooooooooooooo...

A lil bored, waiting for th next match to start...

Few days back went out w all th kecoh peeps. <3 it was awesome. found out tht haji lane isnt tht much of a camwhoring place. and then went to marina barrage to camwhore ALOT. LOL. all 500+ pix at fb. do check them out. one thing tht i cant tell you about is all th crap we talked about. it was merepek ttm. wished i couldve recorded all of it down.

things to take not of:

` bradell adek bradek bagedel.
` maman has a very big submarine w a swimming pool inside.
` some people dknw whd to name th area at sembawang so they named it sembarang, but og sane peylat so they said " sembawang "
` people go to somerset to samer2 set.

and many more.HAHAHAHAHAHA

i now realise i've lost my touch in blogging. so, i dknw whd else to say. deciding on which match to watch later... netherlands & cameroon or japan & denmark... most prob nld vs cmr cos i dont like to see japan. okie dokie then. one thing i hope wont happen is me falling asleep..

Wanna go out with me ?

2010-06-24T15:31:00.001+08:00

Uhhh, ok, but you are?

Ask me anything

Why aren't you asleep? Or are you?

2010-06-24T15:25:00.003+08:00

Im not now... ?

Ask me anything

YO NUT! when do you wanna go hang out with us? [me and guof] :DD -Vanessa

2010-06-24T15:25:00.001+08:00

I MISS YOU GUYS D;

Ask me anything

SO awesome it made me blog.

2010-05-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

Okay so what is it that was SO , that IS SOOOOO AWESOME, that i have to blog? Its none other than the movie, THE PRINCE OF PERSIA, THE SAND OF TIME. OMFG, if you dont watch this movie. you are missing half your life. LOL. seriously, when have you seen me blog just cos of a movie? My ratings for it? a gazillion times more than what the max. rating is. plus 20 thumbs up! yes T-W-E-N-T-Y. After watching that movie, i'd cut up 18 other thumbs just to give th movie the thumbs it deserves. anw, i din sleep last night right. AND I TELL YOU. the movie din even give an opportunity for me to sleep. not even yawn. one blink and you'll miss a whole lot. LIKE SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO GO WATCH IT. this is the one of the best movies i've ever seen. standing side by side w th national of treasures and more. (oh talking bout tht, nicholas cage's upcoming movie, the sorcerer's apprentice is one not to miss either. goddamnit the trailer was awesome enough.) ok, back to THE AWESOME MOVIE. the action packed movie is seriously damn cool . oh, and being the emotional person i am,i HAVE to cry. but, sedih pe. then cry lah. so phm2 je. not too much romance... but th typical wrong timing for a kiss in th movie. yes, its thr, always thr, and always will be. you'll never expect what will happen next.

A FREAKING MOVIE NOT TO BE MISSED.

ITCHY ITCHY ITCHHYYYYYYYYYYY

2010-05-16T02:21:00.002+08:00

Like a few days arld since i went ubin and all th stupid mosquito bites are still annoying me and making me look so ugleh!!! Grr! and even worse i cant find mopiko or any shit in th hse tht could help me. Plus my long finger nails arent helpin th situation either. Anw, i just wna show off tht i went ubin NYEHEHEHEHEHEH. Pix sume pat facebook kk. G tngk sendiri. Other than tht, recently went to watch iron man 2 even tho i alrd have th cd at home. Like gatal kan nut. Nyhahahaha. besttttt. after th movie and all took neoprints (which reminds me, i still cant find my small box full of neoprints D: wahhhhhhhhhhh) and then shopped like i hvnt shopped in decades. LOL. despo siah. loving my new stuff!! ;D thennnnnnnnnnn, today went for nayang girls concert, nice ley. they also played endless love. O: saw mignon and jolene, long time uh, miss pl days. then went for island creamery!! sadded tht couldnt print out our pix. and found my old pic w mabu and ila, kena vandalise siol. cb tol. then headed to kovan for early dinner at white tangerine, actually planned for pool but everyone wanted to head home. me, cabbed to toapayoh to meet nira peeps. bbl2, actually tk lame tapi rase cm ckp banyak gytu. then i dknw why had this satisfactory feeling in me. seriously awesome luh. cm best gytu bbl2. ;) honestly till now, i cant describe th fun feeling i get inside of me when im w nira, you have to go and rase sendiri, or maybe its just nut prasan. (pshhhhhh~) blahblahlah, time is getting packed just as i am about to take a breather. but, im gna have to work twice as hard.

GO NUT~

Hi mr hoo~

2010-04-22T12:52:00.001+08:00

Wahhhhhhhh. Midyrs ia in a week and im so screwedddddddddd. Seriously, i think all this mugging aint enough. D: anw, i bet mama's gna scream when she realises th reality of my situation in my studies. Oh, and not forgetting how many weeks months of yfc i have skipped. Its nt tht i dnt want to go, but everyone quit and pangseh me. Like wtfffffff. Cfm gna die once i get back esp when nw cca step dwn. Gah! Naik binget aku tahan prangai org2 yg suke paitao.. Grr! Okay, dknw whd else to say nw, shall listen to lessons. Heh, btw, sch aint over and i cant wait for dk laterrrrr~~ ;D

Please. Im begging.

2010-04-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

Why cant everyone and everything just give me a break? Oh come on. im just so tired, worn out and i dont think i can take in anymore. Its a tough time now and i bet many of you are like saying, nut its yr fault, who ask you act like you can handle so many things? But the thing is, if not now when? Right now all im thinking is that im am sick and tired of living. I dnt knw why all of the sudden i am feeling this way, why im so emo, but i wish everything could just stop for one day, and i can just rest, without worrying about anything else. I want to just sit down and not have so many things in my head, so many deadlines to meet. and with me being too busy to go yfc, i just cant wait for me to get scolded by tony or beber. Its so depressing yknw, knwing tht thrs no way outta this. its obvious one day away from sch aint enough to cover everything.

How to relieve my stress? I feel like poning tuition later and taking some time alone, to myself.. anywhere nice that i can just relax and sort things out?

Honesty is my new policy.

2010-03-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

To hell w keeping my feelings a secret. For what? Just to make myself feel worse? No way. Tell ya what. I shall just let it all out here. Sape2 yang terase, gd for you, harap2 you guys will change after reading.

Headlines: What pisses Nut off?

First things first, annoying people. Yes, i knw i am one too, and i realise i have to stop being one. But is it me or are there people worse than me? Seems like to me. But , i have told them honestly tht i've been acting the way i am cos i've been annoyed. Not in the face, but directly, thru other means. since i've alrd apologised, i shant elaborate more.

there are also those kinds that think they are the only ones around . yknw its just so fucking irritating when they think that things only started when they stepped in. eh, wake up jerk. yre not the only one on this planet. sorry, being a lil hypocrite but seriously, the way you are talking is like as if you've lived through the starting of it . you werent even w us during th what i call glory days LOL. and then bbl like mcm phm . grr. annoying tawu. no offence aye but things have been better before you were around, not like its not gd now lah but, it wasnt at its best when you came into the picture. annoyingggggggggg!

next, attention seekers. I ADMIT NOW. i like attention. but not to the extent of making a nuisance out of myself. maybe sometimes unintentionally i become an annoying arse trying to act and seek attention, but i've been trying to stop myself from doing so. (:

seterusnya (HAHAHA) , assholes. people whose characters are just so shitty, they dont deserve alot of things. take for example flirts. like me, they like attention. (i admit too i think i am one but hopefully SERIOUSLY hopefully im not like that anymore)

on that note. all these kinda people can change. so i hope if you are one, you better realise and chnge before things start to get outta hand. as for me, i think im all of the above BUT im in the process of changing. anywho, i believe most of us have our downside.

before i forget, why do i seem to be getting annoyed just by seeing faces these days? maybe cos i knw whd they are like and what they have done? Grr. i get pissed myself thinking of these stuff. i guess im a factor to my anger.

Buy my homecoming tix!! Nyeheh! ;)

2010-03-24T13:14:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone. Its nw amaths lesson and im really bored and tired. Anyway, tho i knw not alot of people read my posts, but i want to ask for ideas for a hmecoming game. Sadly, my class' awesome game has been rejected. Grrrr!! Awesome loooohhhhhh pinata leyyyy. Then some bloody sec one class got it, wtf!!! Sorryy uh imma sore loser. Damn whd th hell lahhhhh. Stupid nahbeh. Nw must think of a more awesome idea. Help me!!

oh, and other than tht, i also want to sell off more homecoming tix soooooo, please buy from meeeeeee! ;) monday's th last day tht i can sell them so please hurryyyy! Tyvm and love you guys loads. Hahaha. Come to xms' homecoming day kkk! ;) haha, kk buhbye, gta do sums nw. -.-

Its all good~

2010-03-23T21:42:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone. I knw its wow tht im all of a sudden updating my blog but i think smth happened today and i just must talk about it. I really glad that dx talked things out today seriously, we needed alot of patching up to do. I hope everyone let out everything today and nothing was kept inside uh.

Anyway, this is what i want to say. I'm glad we all had that talk and its good to knw that we all miss the old days. im also glad that i got to tell amy how bad i really feel about the fact that i aint much of a help in her problems, and how guilty i feel about being her friend and not being able to help out. ): whdev it is, amy, i want you to knw tht i really want to help but we both knw tht it'll be awkward luh. anywho, i'll try to help more kk.

Oh gosh. i've been online for hours, im tired and my hmwk aint dont. ): Oh nooooo.

Talk more next time kk, x: buhbye! (hopefully soon. LOL.)

Eh. Not my problem lah ey.

2010-03-03T22:50:00.002+08:00

Oi. Actually not my problem one right. I neh even attitude to you like you did to me lah ok. Come to me for help and then just throw these shit to me. Im what , yre punch bag for yr emotions ey. use me lah. im like everyone's secondhand bitch or smth kan. im the last person on everyone's list. (Y) Heck with hiding alrd ok. I want to hide for what lah sia. I keep keep also in th end i dont get anth from tht. I feel more like shit have lah. I dont even knw why i bother to help you. its cos i feel bad when i see the situation. but in this case. you just come around and accuse people of being the cause of yr problems. what the fuck. and just cos i try to straighten things out i get accused of being on their side? what is with this shit. in he first place, not my problem and then now imma big deal. so you put it aside and say yr over it. i sorta understand yre pissed but, must take care of yr emotions only ah . i dont have isit. GAHHHH. Forget it lah. Eh, everyone. My fault. Dah stop. Sorry to everyone involved. Annoying myself and making myself get pissed for lame shit. Malas nk thinkthink lagy.

Mama: "Dah, org mcm ni sume konek half. bulu je bnyk."

Heh, sorry, i dont want to make things worse but, tk kekek ke dier advice aku cm gytu? Hahahaahahhahahaaa! So the cheer me up! ;D I love you mama! ;D

Tolerance aint my thing.

2010-03-03T22:11:00.001+08:00

Hi all. Today i realise tht i tend to get agitated easily. And i no longer control my emotions. I find it hard to pretend tht i dont hate smone. Its even harder to pretend tht im not annoyed by things or people around me. Gosh, is it me, or is bitchy just permanently attached to me? How unfortunate. Dont say i din try. I do. I always do. Its just recently i cant tolerate these kinda stuff. So, im just saying, please dont annoy me. And also, sorry in advance to all th bitchy attitude tht i might give when im pissed. Nevertheless, i wont stop trying to change for th better. If you think im tryna put on an act, then yre wrong. I just want to be a better person. Esp after i realised th bitch i was to many.

formspring.me

2010-03-01T00:24:00.001+08:00

Eyyyy! I just created this thingy tht i think is fun! Hahahah! Ask me smth now! >> http://formspring.me/littlemissnut

formspring.me

2010-03-01T00:23:00.001+08:00

Eyyyy! I just created this thingy tht i think is fun! Hahahah! Ask me smth now! >> http://formspring.me/littlemissnut

formspring.me

2010-03-01T00:21:00.001+08:00

Whds this thingy?

dknw. Hahahah! I'm being soooo lame.

Ask me anything

Finally.

2010-02-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

Yes, finally im on blogger updating. Talk about uber lazyness. Heh. Anw, loads are happening but i aint gna brag about them here cos honestly, too much fo me to rmb. and yknw whd happens when i try to rmb stuff. (head hurts) hahaha.

Hi, i was updating halfway when i got distracted by smth and now i forgot whd i wanted to blog about. Heh, sry. Bye!

Multimedia message

2010-02-26T07:09:00.001+08:00

Heyyyyu. I knw i hvnt been updating for th longest time. But i've been v the lazy to blog. Everytme im online i'll feel so damn bored tht i'll just forget about blogging. But i realise i've been neglecting it too much... D: so far sch's been ok... Im trying my best to not fail tests. And im happy to knw i trying and i feel satisfied. Chehhhh nut sey. Hahahha. Seriously lah. I feel gd sey. So, feb's almost over. Oh gosh so fast right? I damn sad lah. So fast!!! I dont even feel like i've been too much. But march hols coming rdy . Wth! Ahhhhhhhh! Okk right nw in daddy's car and im reaching sch rdy. Soooo, buhbye peehpooool! ;)

xoxo, nut

Thank youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!

2010-01-27T18:07:00.001+08:00

Yawnnnnnnnnnn. In the bus w jean nao, otw to sch. Just bowled. Blahbkahblag. Hvnt had time to blog, been feeling v lazy . As usual, sooooo, i want to thnk evertone tht wished me happy bday. ;D love you alll!!! Nth else lah, anw, our stop rdy. Buhbyeeeee!!!! ;D

2010-01-16T13:55:00.001+08:00

       Awesome dessert to finish off my awesome meal at fish and co w Denise darling! :D

fuck.

2010-01-15T00:11:00.002+08:00

uh, 3 days w/o my phone is hell. im freaking serious i only tweeted once ytd, and i can only tweet when im home. ): !! i cant get a new phone till i save enough money to get myself an iphone and nao, GRR, i have tht guttish feeling that bastard is happily using my phone and looking at all of my vids/pix. cheebye. kaobei asshole lah, i've never been so pissed since those bitches stole my wallet the last time, last year when me and jia decided to go bowl w dusk. fucking took all my stuff can. cheebye. im so pissed lah. i miss my qwerty pad and i miss poking my nails on my phone. ): dear phone, i hope you are treated nicely by that bastard and i hope deep down in your cold phone memory heart you really really miss me. i miss you too darling. ): muahs.

like i always say, life's a fucking bitch.

2 words. FUCK YOU.

2010-01-12T18:55:00.002+08:00

OI ASSHOLE. I WANT MY PHONE BACK.

YOU READING, ALWAYS GIVE BACK A PHONE YOU FOUND.

CHEEBYE I HOPE THAT FUCKING GUY GETS AIDS COS HE FUCKS TOO MUCH. WAHLAO GME THIS KINDA FUCKING ATTITUDE. ALRD CALLED HIM UP THEN HE HANG UP ON ME. FUCKING CHEEEEEBYEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! FUCK MAN HE'S GNA BURN IN HELL. CHEEBYE. HE'S GNA TOTALLY PAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I WANT TO SPIT ON HIM. I WANT T FUCKING KICK HIS BALLS AND IM FUCKING SERIOUS;/. i dont care tml i want make police report. he fucking cheebye dwan gme back my phone. how i knw got someone take? cos he was on the phone. that fucking cheebye gme attitude. like some fuck shit hell asshole. he can fucking go die sial. pukimak. KANINABEH CHOWCHEEBYE LAH. YOU THINK FUCK FUNNY ISIT TAKE MY PHONE. DONT LAME CAN. YO FUCKER. CHEEBYE NAHBEH. FUCKK YOU. YOURE GONNA FUCKING KENA KARMA. YOURE GNA GET KICKED IN THE BALSS EVERYDAY PLUS PULLED IN THE HAIR PLUS I DKNW WHD ELSE. fucker.

Sry, lazyness has gotten th best of me

2010-01-11T20:09:00.001+08:00

Okay i think my blog fucking dead and the vlogs on display are fucking annoying plus it creeps people out. Dont you think so. Soooo. Ever sincd sch started i have been v lazy to blog/vlog cos i get v tired at th end of th day. Some new stuff to note is my shorter than short hair tht i just cut just nao. Andddddd. I love my new class. Go 305!!!!!!. Love you crazy peeps. I knw its only like 2nd week off sch but everyone sittibg around me so nice can. Hahahahaha. Im sorry to you guys who arent as fortunate but i bet it'll be better . :D stay positive kkk. Anw, i love th free periods i have. Its like mad crazyyyyyy!! (Getting influwnced by xiaxue's words ) thenthen, cant wait for all th awesome stuff this yr. Woooooo~ kk, i reach home rdy so, buhbye nao!!!!

Schooollll! Todayyyyyyy!

2010-01-04T03:46:00.000+08:00

L-O-L!

2010-01-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

Bored and singing! Wheeeeeee~

2010-01-02T03:14:00.001+08:00

New year vlog! :D

2010-01-01T02:04:00.001+08:00

Okay, get ready for emotional posts for everyone.

2009-12-31T01:56:00.004+08:00

Bimbo Jiaaa.

Yo loveyyy. Im the most probably annoying friend you have and like we're th perfect always fail in meeting on time team. Hahah. Whdev it is, we're into our 7th year of friendship and you and i both knw tht thr's gna be alot of stuff gng on in our schs. either way, i still hope we can cut some time off for small meetups or like after sch stuff like last time in sec 1 . Hahah. I also know tht i piss you off alot. so, i hope they werent so bad luh, and im telling you an advanced sorry for all the future pissing off moments tht i confirm knw gna happen. I really love gng out w you , talking otp, bimbo ing or whd nonsense we always do when we're tgt. I'll nvr get tired of those stuff aites. sec 3 is gna be a hard tough year , so i wish you all the best and good luckkkkk! ;D

Xoxo,

Nut

Gf ; guof ; Guofannggg. ;D

Helloooooo.

I knw we sorta drift during sch period cos of all th rush stuff but i think swimming w you is fun uh, then maybe slot in some afternoon jog or smth, hahaha. tho, i knw its hard to stay in touch when we’re all busy w our own stuff, i hope we’ll still have time here and thr to catch up (cos its always fun to hear you tell yr stories! heh) anw, i want you to knw tht you’re an awesome babe tht seems to neh get pissed (or you do, maybe LOL) when i end up still sleeping thru our meeting etc . if i were you i bway tahan can! LOL. thnks for giving me gz advice and all, and being thr when i needed you. Love you loads girl.

Xoxo,

Nut.

Sy! Hello.

Yo.

I guess i can say tht we’re nt really tht tight luh, but i always love doing random stuff like cooking baking etc… haha, its fun to cook w ya, esp to knw tht both of us sibeh noob one. Nyhaah. nth wrong w tht uh. I knw you got a lot of stuff to do nxt yr sumore w alot of perfs for band and your smartypants in 303 so all i can say is goodluck luh! w all th stuff yr gna have nxt year and the bet is still on uh! ;D hahah, but please , dont let th bet stop you from ehemmmmm. okayyyy then. Love you loads! Be good in sch (wtf?!) HAHAHA.

Xoxo,

Nut.

Mabu-liciousss.

Haha, sry for th totally random title kays. Heh. I knw yre stuck w mr lee for anth yr in 304 but i think its also kinda gd tht he’s yr form tcher ? i mean, like yre used to him teaching and all, so good, but hope you dont kena sabo and all luh. i also knw yre a busy woman and literally speaking, everybody loves you. duh, come on luh, yre so nice, like, always help one, i barely hear you say bad stuff bout people can. so, i knw you’ll be fine despite th many changes for next year, soooooooooo, all the best, i hope maybe thrs a chance for us to keep in touch thru all th chaos of sch. And love ya k!

Xoxo,

Nut.

Uhm, zee.

I doubt you’ll be reading this, so i guess its the whole point of me letting out all my feelings of 09 before i move on, so i hope no one will read this, its just here, for i dknw whd reason, anywho, i have to say yre really a kecoh guy and yes i will rmb tht not every one is like you. Lol, yre fun and all, sweet sometimes. funny, a lil annoying here and thr, but everyone has their flaws right? (im annoying too i admit) anw, i dont knw whether its me thts pissed or smth, but, i have to say, thr was tht time when you seriously, NBCB-ed me, so, hello, i hated you., but people stay people so , whdev it is, i just wna tell you tht, i’ve had awesome days w you, and yeah. tho , im not expecting to hang out w cha anymore. Buhbye!

Xoxo,

Nut.

Hi you.

Im not really comfortable letting everyone read this but i guess i’ll have to let it out to keep my promise of moving on to 2010, i had th best 43 days (i think) of my life. Lol, well this is embarrassing, im hoping you dont read this too, but, who gives a damn right. anw, let me tell you i dont think i can ever forgive myself for whd i’ve done to ya, and i’ve always felt likka fucking bitch when i look back at tht moment in time. whdev tht happened, i also promised myself tht i’ll move on and keep those days as nice memories w me, so i hope you’ve done the same too. lastly, i do wish i can write everything tht i wna tell you down and just give it to you, but i knw i cant take th consequences tht will come w tht action. X:

Xoxo,

Nut.

Heylooo amyyyyyy.

Yooooooo pmpn! Hahaha, (basket eh nut) we’re gna have 2 more yrs tgt, i hope you can tahan me luh. X: cos if not then , i dknw whd to say rdy, lol. i knw we’ve got our ups and downs this year, but like i’ve promised my self, this chapter of my life has been penned, and all i can do is flip th page to th next chapter. i knw sme things i do is just really dumb and god knws whd else/ how else to describe th thing’s i’ve dne. i can erase the past but i knw i can make th future better aite (chehhbah nut! heh) i think tht should be all, but lastly, i want cha to knw i’ll be thr when ya need me. (haha! i mean since we’re in th same class and all. O: )

Xoxo,

Nut.

Bastardette Qilla!!

Hahaha, just rmbed tht when i saw smth while i was cleaning up my junk. Yooooo girl, its sad tht we’re not in th same class anymore but, i mean , we’ll still have malay -.- but, wth. hahaha, i cant describe how awesome it is to have you around and that, one thing’s for sure, i knw tht yre a puzzle piece of my life board (i dknw whd i just crapped.) We’ve had a lot of moments, times, crazy parts, of this year tgt, and i hope they wont just fade away like words off a book. I cant say tht we wont drift nxt yr but im praying tht we wont. i really miss yr influence around me, Hahaha. and cant wait to hug you like fuck when sch reopens. ;DDDD

Xoxo,

Nut.

Nira Nyertikaaaaaaaaa!

Dikirrrrrrrrrr niraaaaaa! ;D

HELLLOOOOO. okay, i dknw how much more i can say/do/tell/blahblahblah to express how much dikir is to me. i knw its cliche but no words can express the fun i experienced in dk. well, obviously, everybody knws tht i have a freaking unsupported mom, so i’ve been going here and thr, wo her knwing, wrong as it is, i really love dk, and thrs no way some woman who thinks she knws me from head to toe is gna take it away from me. I dont freaking care. I knw i might be over reacting by writing this but, heck uh. tho, i always like not around kinda thing, and like go home early, like guai kia liddat, i’ll try my best to make it everytime, since times w this woman is getting tougher, and she’s practically tryna stalk me. i really look forward to when i can keoch w you guys again, tho sometimes im really scared one day, the you-knw-whd-woman would tear me away from you guys. the thought of no more dk is just, cannot handle can. i honestly dont want to just be watching only, i’ve been too good and i wont let youknwwho tell me whd to do anymore. i knw whd i like, whd i love , and heck w whd she thinks. i love you guys loads k! ;D

Xoxo,

Nut.

DXXXXXXXXX!

Krggggggggg!

Love you guys so muchhhhh luhhhhhh. You guys introduced me to whd i love, and we’ve stood strong tgt and hopefully, we can continue cos i knw we really can do it, its always fun to perf w you guys, everywhr, just so kecoh and enthu and yah. just smth im scared about is tht pmpn dont let me join anymore. cos, she’s alrd spoken to ckg and i doubt ckg will let me join secretly right. X: so im praying for the best, and the best is all i canhope for. Love krg ttm!

Xoxo,

Nut.

Kinnnnnn!

Aku rindu ko gilerrrrr uh. ): sedih seyh lamer tk jumpe, ko ngan yat dah jadi business man ngan woman, abih, nk makan tgt satu kali pn susah. jadi, lepas ko dah bace ni can, siap ko, sch reopen je, aku peluk ko rabak2, tk kasi chance uh! muahahahaha! k ah, kin, aku nk ckp sry uh, psl aku tau aku bnyk irritating, perangai kadang2 tkleyh angkat. abih, aku wish ko gd luck for o’s nxt yr, harap2 ko busy seberape busy pon dapat kluar makan ke, lepak kejap ke, ajar aku malay ke. (heheh) ahhhhh. i think , thts all luh. and, lagi satu is, aku nk, ckp tyvm, to bile aku tngh breakdown, bbl nonsense sume, nk mati lah, hape lah, ko, ade jugak bbl ngan aku, Lol, and, also, thnks for the advice. :D

Xoxo,

Nut.

Yayattttt.

Yo gyler. Had loads of fun kecoh-ing w ya, and cant wait for sch to start and all, but anw, i dont have much to say, except tht i hope you wont take things i do/say too much to the heart cos i tend to just blurt stuff out. im sorry for the downs and can tell you tht i’ve loved all th ups . Hahaha. Lame uh me. Thts all i guess!

Xoxo,

Nut.

Little Miss Smurf!

I miss you soooooo much can! I really hope you can be a lil less addictive to yr com, and actually go out and breathe fresh air. Better go out more nxt year uh, hvnt seen you th whole of our hols. D:<>

Xoxo,

Nut.

Okay, its new year!! 2010 here i comeeeeeee! Hope this is all, i'll continue to post more later k.

Also:
@Cm
@Lydia
@Lala
@Justin
@Dusk
@Amanda
@Zuhairi
@204`09
@Xms Gztuan
@allofmyfriends! ;D

I din forget you guys okay!!!! ;D
LOVE YOU.

2nd vlog of th day! ;D (Me pissed at youtube!)

2009-12-31T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hair, hair, today! ;D

2009-12-31T00:57:00.003+08:00

Oops. More lameness.

2009-12-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

Haircuteeee!

2009-12-28T15:55:00.003+08:00

Xmas is nearrr and santa's over here!

2009-12-23T17:55:00.001+08:00

Supppp. Okay im in th train agn, and im otw to go tpy to meet mama and papa for dinner tho i alrd had mine. Anw, tdy damn embarrassing can, forgot to bring my cookies for cca peeps. Wtfffffff. Freaking. Then only giving them next week. Hell. Damn sway lah woke up late w aches everywhr cos of ytd painting. Fuck hell. Gna paint my rm tml . Lol. Then, nth much loh. Bought xmas presents for jia, sy, gf rdy. Only left for bro. Lame luh but dknw if hw can get it from me anot. And one more thing, i just realised tht i hvnt tweeted th whole day and hvnt tumblred for 2. Hell.

Im nt rdy.

2009-12-17T17:35:00.001+08:00

Heylo people. Im otw to orchare. Pfft. Feels so long since i went w jia for her mani. Anw, xmas is around th corner and i've decided to bake cookies when,im free. But the problem is, hmwk. Hvnt touched it at all. And the dreaded malay book report. Gosh fuck malay man. Grr. I searched sengkang library and not a single misteri book. Wtf. So stuck w this nonsense book and i have no idea what half th book is crapping about. Nbcb. Then thrs th newspaper report thingy tht i din get th hmwk assignment. Sucks huh. Then, i cant go out at all cos tht pmpn sundal has been catching me for so called gng out. Cb bitch. And cut to the freaking chase, this hols is th worst in 2 years. Sob. Maybe she should have just killed herself tht day pfft. Whddo i care. My weight losing scheme aint working and thighs getting bigger. Gettinh fatter at a very fast pace. Plus im totally not mentally rdy for next yr, and th malay o's . Fuck. New stuff, new people. Same old me.

and just so you knw, im confused cos i convinced myself a long time ago tht im over it. But part of me aint. So im praying i can move on tho its been v long. And no, i dont want to go back, i'll just keep those days in me, to remind myself tht yre not whd others day you are.

Hahah.

2009-12-16T21:51:00.002+08:00

ok, dont bother bout those lame vids. HAHA. Totally lame. tht is whd happens when i dont sleep a whole night and decide to speng the whole night watching Psych episodes and simpsons online. NYAHAHAA. nth much really. today had cca, then kinda funny how jean was like, omg, i totally dwanna stay in daji siah. and i was like. uhm. ok. haha, i v dont care hor. Nyahaha. and cut to the crap, tml planning to cook pizza, as in not short cut kind, but w all the dough, flour, blahblahblah kind. gna be a total mess i bet. and also... sy coming over. i have no idea whd else to blog now. so i shall go. and watch out for more lame vids of me uh! hahahaa.

My first vlog!!!

2009-12-15T09:39:00.002+08:00

Hahahaha! stayyy tuned for the next one, im reallllll high now!

Hi.

2009-12-14T18:57:00.001+08:00

Helloooooo. Long time no blog aye?

okay, so, today was awesome. Went swimming w gf. Tho i woke up late as usual. Now im black w weird tan lines on my back. And gf has 2 tan lines. Hahah. Macs for dinner and now gna have seafood chowder for dinner. :D yumyum. Hmmm, i dont knw how come papa nvr gets tired of delifrance. Cos i certainly am. Wondering if i should get baked rice for jia, hmmm, she's not picking up my call so, guess not. Some other day then.

and mom brougt my lappy to qork again. Is she selfish or what huh? Fucker.

2009-12-11T03:39:00.001+08:00

Im feeling real awful. Left th movie half way today. owe a lot to jia. mom made a scene at sch. she deserves a fucking foot up her ass. im totally pissed.

so much for watching new moon.

Multimedia message

2009-12-10T18:26:00.001+08:00

Ok. Its official, i want to get out of this house bfore she kicks me or sends me to a girls home -.- yes lame i knw. Neh even do anth then want to send me to girls home. She's such abastard. Made a scene at sch. Really annoying. She seriously went too far today w all the drama mama. Its fucked up man. I want to get the fuck out of here. But first things first i've gotta aim how to . I knw im just saying this cos im v pissed but. Ah heck. Better plan first. How do you runaway properly? She doesnt have any of my friends numner so thts a good thing. Sooooo, i wonder if jia can let me stay in her house. Sucks huh. Can you do a job while schooling? If im crazy enough i might want to never go home. Wow thts cool. But then again, i have no house and i cant stay at someones hse during sch time. Gosh this is starting to sound damn lame. Stop reading you people. Hmmm, i wonder if any of my friends got runaway before. Maybe tht'll gd. Can ask for advice . -.- -.- -.- forget it lah. Maybe i should have just let her die infront of me just now. She was so close to dying loh. Cheebye.

In a nutshell of anger

2009-12-09T02:33:00.001+08:00

I get so pissed these days tht i realise im like a tiny ball of anger. But wait, tht doesnt mean im not pissed now.

im kinda pissed cos im thinking i must be th lamest and pathetic person alive cos everynight, im forced to kiss my mom bfore i sleep. If not i'll get a big lecture on my unacceptable behavior th next day. Wow, whd sincere love we're sharing huh.

talking bout her, im also pissed at how selfish she fucking is. She still brings my lappy to work even tho she has a new one, and then , she hides her new one at home in her cupboard full of useless clothes tht she cant wear. -.- how awesome is my mom right.

anyho, im pretty glad i found out how to blog from my phone cos now i realise tht bitch almost never wants to hand it over. And i hate hving conversations w her these days. So im tryna keep conversations to th minimum. Thank god she's not th one giving me th money. Pfft.

only one prob, xmas is near and i'd have to go xmas shopping w her. Hopefully then it'll be one of th most rare occasion i actually go out and shop w her. Doubt i'll be able to make it thru w.o her hving to nag.

story of my life sucks huh.

nth but a burden.

2009-12-08T20:39:00.001+08:00

Dont you just love it when your mom comes home, dsnt care how you did just now and starts screaming at you, walking around th house like an elephant bc you went to eat just now.

oh wait. Thts mine.
and guess what? She wants me out of th hse.

she cant wait can she?
dont worry. Once im out, i'll try my best never to come back so tht you'd be glad not having me around. I knw it from th start tht you'd rather have a pet than me. You've said a thousand times. Im sry i came to this world.

i'll leave asap.

nth but a burden.

2009-12-08T20:38:00.001+08:00

Dont you just love it when your mom comes home, dsnt care how you did just now and starts screaming at you, walking around th house like an elephant bc you went to eat just now.

oh wait. Thts mine.
and guess what? She wants me out of th hse.

i'll leave asap.

I never had a life.

2009-12-08T19:02:00.001+08:00

Being th only child fucking sucks cos she has no one else to pick on. Its goddamn annoying yknw. Im th most pathetic only child alive. I get a lecture for going to eat dinner after my gz exam. Wtf is this man. She destroyed her own life and now she wants to destroy mine to make it as sucky as hers was. And fyi she is th most no life person as a teenager. Who rather goes home than to be able to go out w friends. Weeeiirrrrdoooo much!!!

i might as well have no life.

-dead-

2009-12-08T16:31:00.001+08:00

Okay. I should be feeling pretty good since im done w my exam right? NO! I sucked so bad tht anyone can totally own me lah. Grr. Now listening to gf play. Wah she damn pro can. Shall aim to play like her next year if i even get the chance lah.

i only feel a lil relieved but until i knw my verdict, im doomeeedddddd . My gz life has officially died. Must work bizillion rimes harder fr next year. Im just saying this tho to make myself feel better. Cos I knw im just a lazy pig. Ohemgeeeeeeeeeee. Pathetic luh. I wonder if thrs a course i can take up so i can transform into a hardworking person instead of this lazy pig tht i am.

k im talking nonsense. Bye

Gz exam! O:

2009-12-08T12:43:00.001+08:00

Ohmygod! Tdy's th day man. Im done getting changed and all and im gna prac soon. O: wish me goodluck people!

Post #555! :D

2009-12-07T23:37:00.006+08:00

Spagettii! ;D

Veggie,

Me being freaking lame ('hovering' a spoon)

Chicken rice

Chicken

Friday's lunch (Cheezken rice Nyahah!)

Shouldnt have washed th spag before cooking X: they got real sticky

Okay pix are screwed and some freaking blur. (cos i was in a rush to eat. Heh.) anw, last friday did cheezken rice w gf and bimbo. we dipped our chicken in cheese, explains the weird name uh. blahblahblah. was eff awesome.

okay , today, sy came over, cooked spag. total screw up uh. did some stupid stuff. my pot over flowed cos it was too stuff w spag and water. (we sucked this bad) and well a whole lot more happened but it'd be wayyyyyyyyyyy embarrassing to tell ya. overall it was worth th hard work. and i realize cooking for yrself is wayyyy cheaper. 13$ for spag enough for idknw how many people (btw, i still have some in my kitchen. THAT much. ) hopefully it would'nt be my breakfast tml. O: prac-ed gz just now, sorta satisfied but half of me looking forward to tml, other half, freaking out. anw, quite good tht i feel tired tonight . so i can sleep early and wake up fresh tml. (unlike today and btw sy sucks at spam calling me. jia is wayyy better. lol, tho both kinda fail to wake me up) ah heck, finally done blogging i guess. blogger and tweetdeck were pretty slow today (purposely tryna make me sleep late huh?! grr. )

buhbye then and wish me good luck aites!!! ;D

Sup.

2009-12-06T22:41:00.002+08:00

Okay. you knw th thing. My sundays are rotting days. I dont wna go deep into tht. But, I do wna say smth.

1. Im going to change the way i eat . LOL

`Just saw an awesome video, i wish i can buy th stuff but ah heck i think it provided me w th best dietery info evarrrr. Anw, its to make sure i dont eat th same thing everyday. So imma gna make sure i get to eat dif stuff everyday, blahblahblah. I hope this plan thingy works. And in addition, im gna go swimming to, once in a while i guess. and then maybe, if i can get my butt out of th hse, morning jogs. heheh.

2.

I've been feeling rather guilty cos i din prac gz tday or ytd, and i guess its a lil too late to prac now since my dad is home and i have 'no space' in th hse to prac. (and mom would get pretty mad if i start now. pfft.) fck my lazyness.

3.

i hope this muay thai thingy isnt one of mom's just-say-but-dont-do things, cos thts gna really piss me off. grr. (99.9% true btw) i've never gotten a chalet, a bike, a bbq, a bday bash, a day out or a swim w friends like she said she would want to give . -.- why do i bother dreaming.

Ah hell. Sometimes i dont understand why tht bitch keeps me alive in this so-totally-opposite life. grr.

wow, i just got from happy to grr. in one short post. (Y)

Updates!!

2009-12-06T05:33:00.002+08:00

Helllooo. Recent updates cos have been pretty lazy to do so.

Friday.
Became chef w jia and gf. cooked damn fucking nice cheese chicken rice (credits to kfc for cheese) blahblahblah. not a big mess. chicken was awesome . veggie nice. rice kinda fail but still nice. blahblahblah. ate. prac gz. went lesson. i dont understand why my tcher said th total opp of tsb. guof said i lacked feelings. damn i din prac gz tday. maybe later. grr. tues exam. ahh.

sat.
plans ruined . day sucked.

k buhbye.

I suck.

2009-12-03T19:56:00.001+08:00

Tday has been anth fuckhell lousy. -.- i practised gz last night (more like this morning) till 3 but it was all useless. Why? Cos totally screwed up during cca. Dknw wtf is wrong w me. Damn pissed can. Anw, tsb totally pissed of w me too. Th world just sucks w me around right. Pfft. He left halfway. Ah heck luh. So right now otw home, in th mrt. Just went to eat dinner w bimbo. Banquet. V nice my first meal of th day. Awesome huh. K, my stop's nxt. Chow!

Will my efforts be just in vain? );

2009-12-03T04:30:00.002+08:00

Phew. I have been practising gz these days but im scared all this last minute cramming aint gna help. I seriously dont want history to repeat so i've been practising for hours. it all depends on th few minutes i have in tht room when th time comes. anw, heard from peepos tht this yr's examiner veh nice. but still, i doubt i'll be any good. pfft. nevertheless, im pretty happy cos i've been practising everyday since monday and i make an effort to look into th details :D but still aint enough uh. i knw it man. smth inside me just poking my shoulder telling me , i've gta do more. but how? tml gna have cca in sch, gna knw whd tsb honestly thinks about my playing, tho cfm i knw its gna be horrid (apparently i get real panic-y playing infront of him, no idea why. -.-) help. ):

anw, blahblahblah. today was a bore. seriously. half woke up to screams of mom. she threw away my contacts after looking thru my stuff agn, but who cares, expire alrd anw, planned to go out quite early but couldnt overcome my fatigue, kept falling asleep on th sofa. LOL. in th end went out kinda late. went bimbo's place to change blah, din watch new moon, i was feeling lazy and since it was alrd late, we decided to just go fep. thr, we walked around, jia did her nails. nice ttm. if ony mom wasnt over reacting these days. ah , whdev it is, im planning to go tht shop to ask them buff my nails after gz exam. ok right. my toe nails are gone case, but i feel like putting colour on them. dont care bout mom luh. go to hell w her annoyance. din do much, as you can see, and i was having a bad mood , well kinda, realised tht my hair sucked more than i actually knew. so from today onwards, imma curl my hair everytime im going out. no more straight hair, straight hair can go pshhhh. so looking forward to this sat, gng out w kin, so most prob will go fep, then i'll see th situation and maybe get a pedi . still hvnt cfmed th date of my gz exam. if its on sat, i'll freak out and be pissed. please dont. make it a sun or smth. -.- uh gosh. i hope i can get dad's money for books easy, cos im depending alot on tht money. cant wait to get books from cris so i can get moeny from daddy. hais. im hungry right now but who cares im just gna sleep, i wanna lose some of these weight tht has been gained due to my recent high chocolate intake. oh! talking bout losing weight, mama's letting me take muay thai. how fucking cool is tht man?! she said my cousin's a trainer so she dont mind letting me go. woohhhhh! awesome ness, im gna be kickass strong man! (yeah i knw dream on... -.- ) but a girl have her imaginations right. LOL.

buhbye then! :D

Case 39 ... !

2009-12-02T03:07:00.002+08:00

Hellooooooo! :D Heheh. First things first, aint my curls just prettehhhh? :D Wheee. Hahaha. did them me self yknw. used mag covers and nth else (: Cool aite. anw, tdy went out w bimbo. watched case 39. O: nice loh. both of us first time sneak in. Nyahah! Successful mannn! lol, but saddest thing is we dont have th tix -.- we have fantastic mr fox tix instead. -.- uh, th movie was madness! me and jia kept squeezing each other and swearing th whole time. LOL. jia pinched me. -.- fck her. pain loh. ); Hahaha. damn freaky, me and bimbo agreed tht no more horror movies tht has got to do w children. wtf. freaked out! half th time none of us watching lah. both cover our eyes. here's a short dialogue:

jia: (cover eyes) eh, you see leh. tell me whd's happening
me: fuck. fuck. i dwan. you see lah. its th fucking ghost thing.
jia: what ghost (see thru fingers)
me: omgomgomgomg
jia: wah, fucking scary siah
me: omgomgomg

(scene over, both still hugging each other but w hands down)

jia: eh, now i knw why nc16, this thing damn scary luh
me: no more horror
jia: no lah, no more horror w children
me: they make these movies make children look evil lah wtf.

bfore i continue, one more:

me: shit! demon lahhhhh.
jia: omg

(hugging strts)
(both covering liao)
(th cinema speakers sibeh loud and we're freaked out)

jia: ehhh, whd uh.
me: what

(BOOM x dknw how many times - th demon girl bashing door)
(we're more freaked out)

me: wahlao wtf.
jia: (pout)

*jia pinch me

me: oi! dont pinch me lah! wahlao. fucking pain
(i let go awhile getting over th pinch shocked while bimbo laughs a lil)
(we both starts hugging asap as th movie still freaks us out)

LOL lame huh. th movie scaryyyy! i dknw how th old people in th cinema can laugh -.- was asking bimbo :

eh i wonder if well be like this when we're old, laugh at these movies O:

still scaring myself at times. i better hurry w this. we ate at anderson's too! long time no eat eh. nice as usual. me + jia eating chocolate = mess. ok not tht bad lah. But still... eating choc while thinking whd we used to do last year. which is always meet up on sats , eating nebo almost everytime and watching many2 movies. and eating at andersons too of course. LOL. many things uh. blabbered alot.

i think im done. my back's aching and i wna sleep. LOL. dwan wake up late tml. oh, and please dont think tht these are th only pix we took tdy. the rest all are uploaded in my fb. Go see luhs. :D buhbye then, plans for tml are w bimbo agn, watching new moon! :D and if got time, pei her go mani. (i want a pedi cos i broke both my big toe th nails. now thyre damn small and they hurt. ); still considering pedi.)

Tagged by my bimbo more than yr ago.

2009-11-30T01:55:00.002+08:00

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names &/or objects, but nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. And Have Fun With It! AND TAG 5 PEOPLE TO DO THIS :D

1) Four letter word: Nerd
2) Boy name: Nataniel
3) Girl name: Nazlyn (i knw, weird right)
4) Occupation: Nurse
5) A colour: Neon yellooowwwww
6) Something you wear: Wtf?! Nets?!
7) Beverage: Nepsi . coming soon! LOL
8) Food: Nachossss~! (craaavvviinnnnggggg)
9) Something you find in a bathroom: Nabong. -'-
10) A place: Neptune
11) Reason for being late: No, it wasnt my fault, blame (person)
12) Something you shout: NAHBEH!

5 tagged people: :D
1. Jia!
2. Amy
3. Sy
4. smurf.
5. everyone

whdev lah. This is lame. LOL

Who says th weekends are better than weekdays?

2009-11-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

Rotted th whole day today. Started off w waking up at 4+ then later getting a morning nag from her. Blahblahblah. I prefer weekdays when she's working and i have th whole hse to myself. w th exception of th tv which sometimes my dad would take control of. Pfft. Its annoying how my dad likes to watch stupid chinese movies tht are oh so lame -.-and then my mom is hooked to korean drama. gosh. whds wrong w this hse man? and i wanna watch paranormal activity but im scared to watch it online alone ): oh btw, ytd ytd which was rayer, bought 2 tops when i went to jb :D i might rethink th whole 'i need to get more tops' thing.

ah yawn. oh, and i just realised my shopping list is stuck in my other phone so i shall think of a new list now, an updated one so tht i can knw whd i need.

`new headphones
`(i still want) a croptop
`new sandals (from j8)
`leather bands
`maybe a jacket or smth
`white eyeliner
`f21 beanie thingy

okay thts not so little huh.
so, tml have last gz lesson @sch before grading exam
then this sat gng shopping w kin etc.
this tues gn to watch new moon w bimbo
i wanna eat chocolate fondue.
then thurs gng out w bimbo but dknw whr

otp w bimbo planning my hols schedule. k. buhbye.

Xinmin Open hse! :D

2009-11-29T04:28:00.002+08:00

Heylowww! So good morning one and all! Heh. Ytd's xms open hse was great and fun! Tho i dknw why my heels hurt so much more than usual. I really really really love th first pic man! Done by art club. They so creative right? these are just some of th best pix of ytd, for more please go fb see keh. :D the pix in fb inclde failure jumpshots of me and xiaoxin. Nyahah! Kinda pissed cos my phone din have enough space to take a vid of us playing gu er ban. damnit! Only have guxiang qing th vid. Ah yawn. Really liked the guerban. ): cleaned up my phone space only after i came home and charged it. Stupid. so much junk. Lol. after open hse over lepak-ed opp sch w xrc people and got kinda annoyed by all th mosquitos who cant seem to stop biting me and sucking my blood. Cb. then i was hungry so went hg point to eat. wanted to lepak smore but everyone gng off so headed home. Reached home, and then bathed, sat on th sofa , watched pirate's of th carribean and fell asleep. amazing right? me sleeping at 8+ half way got dragged into room to sleep . and gues whd. i woke up at 12 mn, and cant sleep after tht. so here i am. did a lot ofuploading of stuff too man. ok then. i guess thts all for now. :D Buhbye!

Good and bad things in life...

2009-11-27T01:51:00.002+08:00

First things first, good things in life...

Ytd had a last minute dk outing to sentosa. Th thing is, sape yg pegi sentosa kol 3? LOL! Rabak kannn. But nehmind, was pretty fun tho i , as usual had to leave early due to my usual reason. Had alot of fun. But my plan to not get wet failed. ah, but heck. Not many people thr ytd, but it was a real hot afternoon i must say. Almost changed my mind about gng, honestly. Lagy2 cos i had gz before tht. Heh, talking bout gz, i was kinda late. okeh fine, not kinda, but real late . i woke up late agn. seriously , i've become an owl these days, sleep at 4/5 am. gosh, bad habit! missed a whole day of gz last week cos of tht (i woke up at 3+ , how awesome is tht. ) So yeah. This sat is th open hse, and gz would be performing... for no one -.- like, you prepare song pieces fit for a concert, but, people dont even knw yre thr. How pathetic. best thing is, i am STILL short, even after wearing heels. Grr!

K next, bad things in life.

Tdy started off badly, and almost ended badly. Started off w me, realising tht out of all days my mom chose to take th lappy to work , she chose tdy, when im at home th WHOLE day and have nth to do. GRR! and you might think she brought it to work to do work stuff. But its actually for her to play during her lunch time -.- play whd? fb -.- pissing off right? so i lazed th whole day. planned to help dad a lil but ended up watching tv and leaving all th hse chores to him. Nyahah! Had planned to do a lil book sorting, to make space for new books to come. But then agn. Hahaha, you should knw whd. went to buffet dinner at sakura when i said i wanted seolul garden. But nehmind, i did eat so, shant complain much. totally forgot bout dessert until i was in th car -.- then took a nap and woke up to find myself at changi. Bought a cute flowery dress which would have looked great if i wore it ytd. (too late i say) but, personally i find it a lil long , so im gna alter it just above my knee. (Y) then headed of to changi beach to feel th sea breeze. it was all awesome, until we left and mom (aka bitch from this part of th story onwards) had to comment on how she hates me to camp w friends like th people thr. (honestly they were not even making any racket. just sitting and talking, im serious! not th worse campers ive seen -.-) so this was how th fight-like conversation went:

bitch: mama (*please lah*) tk suke asha g camping2 cm ni ngan kwn.

me: chalet would be better...

bitch: chalet2 tuu sume pn tk payah. dgn kawan2 nti tau2 bunting.

me: ahh?! bile mase ah, asha ade kluar smpi gytu. asha tk pernah kluar tau. mama mane ade pernah bagy ah.

bitch: tkde2! ni sume tk perlu, mama punye kwn ... (and then she talks about her friend who knws a friend whose daughter got pregnant when she got drunk blahblahblah -.-)

me: asha bukan kwn mama kan! (i was pissed and you can say i was like a volcano who just erupted - imagine th lava bursting out of th volcano and then the red glowing lava gushes out..)

daddy: alah, chalet boleh lah..

bitch: no! mama tknk asha g ni sume nonsense . bile dah besar nk g tuu asha nye psl.

me: klw asha dah besar, dah keje asha bile nk kluar lagi ah? mane ade mase.

bitch: ape ni ah lwn2?! ni sume ah kwn aja, tkde hormat . sume kwn aje bagos.

me: eyh. mama tk pernah nmpk kwn asha tau.

bitch: tk payah nk tngk. sume kwn melayu tk tau nk blaja

me: ape?! alah ! sume pn mama tk suke. bile mase mama ade suke kwn asha ah? kwn cine mama kate no respect. kwn melayu mama kate suke main2. abih mama nk asha kwn sape ha? kwn bangla? eyh? tuu mama nk?

bitch: DAH. no means no. ni ah, dah tau melawan, nti dah besar tk tau mcm mane uh.

and then silence.

i totally ignored her, until we reached home and she made me break th silence. how? she whacked my head w her bag. and i screamed. awesome right.

anth reason to say life's not worth living. -'-

Detailed . Ripped from bimbo bestie (:

2009-11-25T02:41:00.002+08:00

Escape theme park = guai lan park

Out with the bimbo today to etp :)
Etp sucks ttm! They took down like 2/3 rides? They even took down inverter. Wth right??? Was looking forward to sit inverter so much :( Oh well~
Sat viking ship idk how many times hahaha during the last time riding i felt like puking. The first time we rode it was damn scary i felt like i was flying off. Nut was really flying off and I had to hold her down HAHAHA.
I had no time to scream at haunted house because the bimbo was pulling my hand too much.
Wet & wild wasn't really wet. I didn't really get wet ;D That bimbo did, hahahaha.

Were queuing (again) for viking ship then got this group of fat act pai boys, sec 1 nia act big. 3 girls infront of us were their 'friends'? And they cut infront of us sia. I can't believe i'm taller than all those boys HAHAHA. Guailan-ed them but they didn't hear. LOL. And that act pai fat boy stopped the ride cos he cmi HAHA.
Sitting last row in viking and nut screamed as usual hahah then this guailan girl infront of us keep staring at us, so we went like 'look what look siaaaa walau think we scared of you ah' LOL LOL LOL. Fucking funny then she don't dare look alr :)
Last ride got this guy point middle finger at us + some boys behind us cos we were screaming into his ear. LOL wtf right anyhow point middle finger. _|_
Ok in conclusion escape got alot of guailan ppl today,but we had fun guailan-ing them back.

Class chalet later on hahah 1.30am now alr :)
Hope it would be successful and fun! Breakfast with Nut later at 9am. I haven't even pack for chalet yet hahaha. Hmm! Trying to keep next week as busy as possible. Anybody want jio?? :> "

-oh, and my personal note:

why am i the only one who flies off my sit on viking uh? X: freaky man. i got no gravitational thingy ah? dammit. and once again. my paranoidness of haunted hses hasnt changed a bit. Hve to agree w jia tht i cant blieve all th awesome rides at etp were gone.

WARNING. DONT GO ETP. SUCKS TTM!

i guess thts all then. (: ttfn! hopefully today's breakfast is gna be successful and jia can wake up.

Im not dead yet,

2009-11-25T00:02:00.002+08:00

Yay! Finally updating aite! Okay, alot of stuff happened only tht i veh lazy update blog cos blogger was veh troublesome. But now, my blogger updates my tumblr and my tumblr would update my twitter and my fb. Cool right?! :D Nyahahaha! Ok so anw, not many pix cos we were to busy playing. Thr were alot of other annoying ppl and me and jia neh stop insulting and commenting everyone thr. Hahahaha! Btw, otp w nick justin jia. Hahaha. Whd a combination right? And im veh hungry ): Ah, bfore i forget tml gng sentosa for dk outing. Hais so tired rdy, pfft. Lazy to blog anymore. Buhbye then~ :D

Reminiscing...

2009-11-16T22:47:00.002+08:00

Come on, you guys must rmb this right. Total innocence, and pure cheery selfs. Thts whd we were and i hope always will be; give our best, do our best, and enjoy! :D W all tht done, we're alrd won man, winners inside always :D Wheee! :D Watch keh.

OhMyGod!

2009-11-14T12:38:00.001+08:00

IM GONNA GO FOR TH SI ROADSHOW LATER AT AMK. :D NYAHAHAHAHAHA. But only can see from far -.- i feel so lame. Anyone knws how to get th pass? Pfft. Pathetic nut. But at least i get to see sezairi in real life! :D

2009-11-10T20:36:00.002+08:00

Today was just full of emotions. Hve you ever wished tht th only emotion tht you want is happiness? But come to think of it, if tht was th only feeling i can have, how would i knw its even thr? Ok, i knw im crapping, but, im seriously hving a moodswing.

Ahhhh!

2009-11-06T09:55:00.002+08:00

Okay, tdy's making me a lil nervous, cos, i have to make sure i practise gz, and then i HAVE to go to work, cos i've been missing for 2 days and i knw tht aint good. Pfft, plus, i am in desperate need for new make up stuff. AND I NEED MONEY! Hopefully i get a nice salary tdy (: Heh.

Buhbyes you all! (:

So much for 'fun' ...

2009-11-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

Okeh, it sorta feels like th hols, but not just yet, dont ask me why cos im not sure either. Aite, so , tdy went out w jia, bought th sandals @j8 tht i've been eye-ing for quite awhile. then saw a nice tops at cotton on, and damn realised i din have enough money. AH FREAK. ): anw, right now, my list is:

diva hairband
Cotton on top
gladiators (uhm, maybe..)
crop top (still think max & more one nice, but lets see how)
plain black shirt & tank (kinda random X: )
leather bands (from th same j8 shop tht i bought my sandals. :D )

kinda giving up on finding my camera charger rdy. pfft. now i think i forgot whr i last left it. DANG. heh, but anw, im planning to get my new phone by nxt 2 weeks. (max! or else i'll throw a fit to daddy ):< ) then.... still cant think of specific phone, as usual, i can never decide, lemme list some of those tht i think are nice :D

samsung omnia 1/2
sony ericsson satio!! :D
sony ericsson aino
sony ericsson w902 -.-
sony ericsson w995
sony ericsson x1
...anyone want to suggest me smth?

anw, dont ask me why im obsessed w sony,
they all seem so nice and fun to use this season., pfft.
whd an excuse. LOL! but anw, yeah, i want a new phone and i want it now!!!!!! D:

hopefully asap ahhh.

Pffft!

2009-11-03T23:40:00.002+08:00

Damn bored bodow. Anw, its days bfore comp and im feeling damn AHHHH cos i've yet to learn everything. and things tht i've already learnt, i keep forgetting all th other stuff. ): AHHH. Nut! Apa maciam niii! Takot gyler babi! I scared i screw up. cos, come on we're talking bout nut here. ALAH, i wish my family can be there to suport me but, mcm biase, krg phm2 kn je lah.

oh,

and

BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED

):

Heh, camming ngan z, :D

D:<

2009-10-30T15:51:00.000+08:00

Anymore and i can explode.

BYE AH.

Rabak! ):<

2009-10-28T19:12:00.002+08:00

Okay, sry for not updating for not updating for a veh long time. But everytime i feel like posting, i get lazy, heh. Anw, Really sick now. Pfft, so sudden right, was fine ytd, until when i was about to go bed, vomited like 3 times. Bleagh! Yupp, couldnt sleep for hours, and when i finally did, i keep waking up every hour, i dont knw why. X: Then today, went to th toilet dont knw how many bazillion times. Diarhoea rabak gyler. and it hurts so bad to move, walk, stand. Sucks. The headache was like AHHHH. Tortured myself to go to th doctors. (Y) Couldve fainted otw. Sheesh. So, yah, my stomache is coming back, and my head's spinning agn. ):

Buhbye.

What now?

2009-10-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

Hais, seriously dknw whd to do now. Its like, i mind my own business, i kena maki, i help out also kena maki, if i go die kan better? -.- Damn pissed off lah. Here i am in th rm, just finished practising my gz for like 2hrs and then i decide to stop rdy then use th lappy, and then she storms in and starts annoying me. She starts screaming at me . Blahblahblahblahblah. -.- OI PMPUAN. EXAM DAH BES OI! KIMAK. and then she says, I WANT YOU IN BED AT 11. Eh bitch, you want, you kill my then i'll be sleeping forever okeh, no need susah2 anymore. NOW SHE'S STILL ANNOYING ME. WHAT TH FUCK DID I DO. I DIN EVEN BOTHER HER A SINGLE BIT. Ohmygod, tell me again why do i bother living? Fuck, i cant wait to get out of this fucking prison and away from tht byatch. Cheebye.

Shant give her th credit of taking up most of my posts these days, so shal post about smth happy and things tht make me happy! (: Really loved th bracelet/anklet thingy tht z gave me. Heheh. Nice siah, i feel damn paiseyh tht i only bout him a pathetic keychain. I wish i can go back to change my gift fr a better one. Heh. And dknw why just now veh th kekek. Alah, cam biaser uh, klw kluar ngan dierh, cfm rabak punye. Hahaha.

K , thts all then, better go before tht bitch starts her engine again. -.-

"What's the point of having choices, when the decision is not yours to make?"

I've said it.

2009-10-17T12:00:00.002+08:00

I've had enough. I dont care what happens to me anymore. She wants to make me her puppet? dog? Whdev man, i'll follow everything. I'll stop whdev she doesnt want me to do and i no longer have any wants. I dont want dikir, i dont want to go out, i dont want to have fun. Whatever lah . This life is mine, but is for her to control and decide. So, now i think back, what's th point of having many choices, when actually, th decision is not yrs to make? My eyes havnt been this swollen before. I dont feel like going to sch later. But shall force myself. I wonder how come people say a mother knows you best. But, my mom doesnt even knw th simplest things about me, down to my favorite color and passions. I think i have used names on her for too long, so, i shall make a paragraph, on my mom.

My mom, is a mom. She works she sometimes cooks. She says she loves me, and she says she hates all my friends, from th start when i got my first friends in childcare. My mom makes gives me choices, but makes th decision for me. She says she always lets me go out, but, i've never been to a full birhtday party. I sound freaking pathetic, but today im gna be totally honest. She says, you go ahead and do whdev you want, and i'll stand by yr side, but she hates my love for dikir, and she stopped me from going to skipping cca last time. She says i'll always be there, but i've never seen her in th audience clapping for me , since, i dont knw when. I've never been able to think back and say, hey, when i was in primary sch, i used to have loads of fun. Why? Bcos, when i look back at th things i ever did, i threw away all my birthday invitations, bcos i knw my mom will just say she'll think about it, and then make excuses for not letting me go. I was never invited to go out, bcos everyone knws i'll never go. After sch i'd come home, and read a book till 4 bfore meeting my mom for dinner. That's whd i've been doing for th 6 years i was in primary sch. thts most of it. I've never been to any class outings too, bcos my mom has always been saying its no fun. I became a pathetic no fun girl, who only knws how to make fun things, bcome unfun. I've always stuck to th rules, cos my mom said, if i'd do tht, she'll let me have fun. But she lied. She lied, over and over agn. I trusted her, for 6 years in my primary sch. and she never lived up to her promises, i did good in my studies, i never get anything for tht, she gets money, honor, and i have no idea what else. I get to talk to all her adult friends. So when im 13 i decided, why th fuck follow all these rules and lies, when i knw, with her, i'll never get anything, i changed. i changed to hope that i can feel th fun tht i've never had bfore. i want to get to see places tht i've never been to at all. I want to watch movies with friends to see how it really feels, to have someone who actually likes to talk about how th characters dress. So with tht done, i had almost 2 years of fun, until now. I give up now. I'll let her use me. Let her use me as a second life. To do all th things to me, tht she always did at my age. She never went out, so i cant go out. She never had friends, so i cant have friends. She never talked to guys, so i cant talk to guys. She never bought clothes, so i cant buy. She hated dikir, so i hate dikir. She loves chinese orchestra, so i love guzheng. She never watched movies, so i cant go to theatres. She hates, i hate, she loves, i love.

Please, people reading, dont ever try to ask me stuff bout this.
The things i've told some of you, all of it, th stories, are just half of what is going on.
The other half, is still with me, and no, im not planning to tell anyone anything.
No more, im not gna tell anyone anything anymore. Its for me to knw and for no one to find out.

Nut, only allah knws what im going through, i wish i can ask advice from th almighty but, i knw i cant. i dont trust anyone . not even me, so this is why, i will never ever open up anymore. I dont want people to knw me. I want to just keep everything to myself. I dont care if my insides were to burst and i end my problems simply. I no longer want to be a person, Im just a puppet, tht will follow orders from my maker. (Y)

Am i strong enough for this?

2009-10-12T21:47:00.002+08:00

Okay here goes, today, felt weird throughout. Did alot of things but , aderh lah here and thr nut rase cam tk slese gytu. Dont believe ask ila, modd peh gyler babi beb. So nw i knw why. Cant believe smth like this suddenly happened. I hate these moments. But, i'll try to calm myself down cos i knw he's in a better place now. It really hurts to see tht his good deeds were not at all repaid. Im freaking pissed at those who went to him fr help but in times like these, they just cant seem to be found. Wtf. Anw, managed not to make a fool of myself. Tho i realise tht me, being all alone isnt a good thing. since i start daydreaming or whdev, tht sucks. I hope i can survive this few days, w/o thinking of my late granpa. gdluck to me since typing this post is alrd so hard.

Nut, stay strong, tho yre 'not alone', most of th times, you are. Face it girl, no one's gna be thr when you want them to be. So, next time, just put tht fvcking thing away, and accept yr fvcking condition. (Y)

Tsk3.

2009-10-11T21:30:00.002+08:00

Okay, im supposed to be studying but, i hv been busy w youtube. Heheh. :D Anw, wanted you guys to see this. Best tau!

Kris Allen's latest single! :D

Th ever cute Justin Bieber & his effing sweet mv! :D

Damn cool vid. This girl damn pro bodow. (Y)

JUSTIN BIEBER! :D
Teeheee.

Wooh!

2009-10-10T11:18:00.002+08:00

Just now was damn fun, but malas nk post so just wna show you guys gmbr2 , some of which dah lamer basi. Heh.

Blahblahblahblah

2009-10-06T06:05:00.002+08:00

Pagi2 mcn ni, dah kene lecture, thisis what i get for beign tired last night and leaving my lappy on for th bitch to chack and see. She saw all my stuff, saw tht i blocked her fo fb, and she saw all the bloody hell friends i have and she's telling me all my friends suck and im banned from going jln rayer w them cos she saw how vulgar they are. Pleas lah like as if she not vulgar. Kpl hotak dierh. pkm ko uh. Bastard siol, and then she's telling me how my friends all call me slut and all. Blahblahblah. Its just for fun lah deyh. She annoying bodow! Alah, gasak dierh lah. I dont give a damn too dude. From now onwards, no one can come my prison rdy. No visitors pon. I dwan anyone come my hse for jln rayer. Im gna die in this place sial. And, suddenly, she brings in it again. NONE OF THIS HAS ANTH TO DO W DK LAH. SHE IS PISSING ME OFF IN TH MORNING. PKM DIERH TOL. ME, WHY ME, according to her, i hvnt been in dk since last yr. but...heh. anw, she always tries to selit dk into her complains. Yknw whd, i think smpi i mampos no one will ever knw i was in dk. I have to live lies all th way until tht bitch dies. -.- Damn pissed and in no mood to go sch and do exam.

Ahhhh,

2009-10-04T20:28:00.002+08:00

Tml is exam and i still hvnt study peribahase. Cant concentrate. Im so undisciplined. Ugh! Anw, hhaa, tell you guys smth first aite. Hahah. My annoying cousin who isnt here w his family now added me on tagged. I dont think he knws im tht person he just added. Hahahah! Not gonna add him -.- Sheesh. Dwan later my relatives see all my private life. Heheh. Ah, dalah, nk pki com pon susah, Blakang aderh spy uh seyh. ): Lol. Laparrr! ):

CANT WAIT FOR TML.

2009-10-02T22:48:00.002+08:00

WHEEEE! Veh happy tdy! , finally got my wallet. Wna thank zee for temaning me and tahan-ing my paranoidness just now. Hahaha, and also for helping this undecisive girl. Hahaha. susah yknw, mau choose wallet. Well, other than tht, tml going jlan rayerrr! wheee! teeeheeeee!

emotional breakout.

2009-10-01T21:56:00.002+08:00

was pissed then sad then brokedown just now, got cheered up by peeps and now pissed and annoyed by the bitch.

PKM, KO, SPOIL AKU NYERH MOOD BODOW. KO TAU TK, KO YG KASI AKU PROBLEM TAU, ALWAYS, 95% OF THE TIME. PERANGAI CHEEBYE LEYH GY MAMPOS SUA. SIALAH KO, SIBOK, ASL AH AKU KENE JADY CM GYNI, ASL AH AKU STUCK NGAN KO. AKU PEH GERAM SAK .

LOL.

2009-09-30T14:12:00.003+08:00

Heylowwww! See see my Dnt and IT project. Kekek siow i tell you hahaha, Thr supposed to be 'similar' kpl hotak. Hahah. comment lah ckit eyhhhh. (: Done w mabu and yeeyen! (:

Owl.

2009-09-30T04:44:00.001+08:00

Another whole sleepless night. (Y) Amazing, panda eyes here i come!

Weird.

2009-09-29T22:34:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh, just now peh mood swing random siah. But now im fine i guess, just had a small issue thts all, uh, anw, was like thinking, i have been damn slack these year, think i can make it? Gua boleyh jalan dahh , ): ahh, kinda down again. Cos made bro wait. ): damn guilty bodow. ahhhh, sedih, had physics paper tdy, okay uh, but not comfortable. Huahua. Ah heck, needa do karangan tonight . think can manage 4? Nut sua gyler. Buhbye.

Penat uh seyh.

2009-09-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

Whoa, whd a day! Bangon aje dah kene maki sroh cpat2 siap . went out in th morning, gy rumah makcik, then went to nekcik's place, before gng anth auntie's hse, then wanted to go cik ali's hse but tkde org kat rumah. So, i thought we were going home, tau2 bangon aje, kat carpark sebelah cold storage. Aperh seyh! So unglam pki cant ek2 then go supermarket. Bloody mom make me so paiseyh. Ish! Hahaha, then went home, and kemas2 ckit (and i mean just ckit) Heheh, then watched F1 after being told by bro tht it would've been fun. in th end, nut trtdo. Apedahhhhh! Din knw who won, but bro said it was hamilton. Haish, din get to see how tight it was, just saw some parts. Sadded, after this, gna do 2 karangans tht ckg gave over th weekend, and maths, tsk3, ape nk jadi... k uh, see all of tdy's gambar kk ? (: wanna go mkn now! :D

(: Phew, finally

2009-09-26T20:14:00.003+08:00

You are not alone:
Instrumental

Cover

Woahhhh, finally done (: Wheee, nice right nice right?! Hahahah, anw, im rotting right now, plans to go out was cancelled, tml then gng jalan rayer, planning on studying tonight. blahblahblah. Haha, changed my nails colour btw, from a whole week of pink outline to now dark blue outlines, haha, they match my toes now! LOL. -.- K uh, chows!

What a day! O:

2009-09-26T00:12:00.005+08:00

Im gna miss you le qian!!!! ): So sad, her last lesson w me, before i change tcher. Sedih!

Hahhhaha! Found this pic, decided to blog.Hhah.

Drg peyh lamer damn long bodow. pastu tunggu peh tunggu tk dtg, Lol, aku handle okay siah, akin tunggu jap dah bingit. gua lagi worse dok. X: Anw, so bored, lagi tkde phone smlm..., aperh lagi, tdo je ah. Hahahha

Got my phone back tdy! Woooh! Baik dok. Kene spam calls and smses siah. Hahah. Anw, was damn happy. Hahaha, uh, after sch, lepak kat rumah ysoff, (dah upgrade from bwh blok ysoff. LOL) ordered macs, kecoh babe. Hahaha, dance, video-d, blahblahblah, had gz, sadded, last time to see li qian. ): aw mannn, ): bus-ed home , mak ngah, kak yati, kak shikin and abg wan came over. kecoh jugak dok. haha, yan, alin, rudy(!) and even dan was w them. Wheeeeee. Ahhh, damn penat uh, bsok still got to go out. Haishhhhh, penat! Still have to go study seyh, exams in a week! ): Camming w sufi. LOL. lame sak dierh. nk prasan ckit, (want to be posted in my blog ) LOL. KK, see tdy's rayer pic.

Webbing w sufi! Hahah, muke sungguh tk perlu eyhk suf. Hahaha! Kekek siak.

Kecoh!

2009-09-24T22:45:00.002+08:00

Okay, i've been dead since the lost of my beloved phone, ): Ah, tknk start waterworks agn uh. Sheesh, anw, damn pissed w mr lee cos he caused so much trouble by taking my phone away, Bastard bodow. Ahh heck, dknw whdds gna happen to me. Hmpfff. Dah lah, no more mood, neng kali then talk uh, Chow!

Alaahh, krg ni eyh, dah actually tkde pape, asl nk bukak2 problems ni, kate nk jln rayer, tgt2 ahhh. Rayer ni kan ktrg sume dah mintak maaf w everyone, pastu buat mcm gini, aperdahhh. Problem tkde tau, nth to fuss about, cume, ntah lah, apsl krg nk kene cm ni, Sedih seyh kene seperate2 cm ni. Rayer sepatut nyerh jadi tyme ktrg dapat kecoh2 tgt, close2, spend quality time, tapi klw cm ni, tkleyh ahh, ): please, i hope all this can be solved...

Life's gone.

2009-09-22T21:36:00.001+08:00

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